i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
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