Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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