there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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