the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
