Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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