you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
