So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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