3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
