i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
