so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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