I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
