everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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