I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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