the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
