Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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