Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
