There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
