he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
