Acid is not a monday night drug
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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