He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
