What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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