I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
