if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
