Me. At least after what I've been through.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
