dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize