You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
