I don't think brook has ever known best
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
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