It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
