I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
