i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
