why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
i believe in u and ur pee
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
