im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I just forgot I was standing up.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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