This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
