we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
So. Much. Porn.
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