is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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