You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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