So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
