i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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