booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
