Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Randomize
