So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
