Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
