Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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