don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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