i used baking grease as lip gloss
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
