I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
