Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
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