if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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