I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
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