Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
