Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
