hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
