I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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