I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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