so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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