And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
