What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
