I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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