Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
