I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
