Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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